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The other day, I was heading through a shopping center and I noticed a White man with a White woman and they had a Black child. They looked like a happy family and were looking through the toy section, when the Black child said: “Dad, can we get this for the swimming pool”, he was pointing to some kind of floating pool toy.

This scene didn’t cause me to take a second look because I see this type of family pairing all the time. Hell, Hollywood even made a movie about this situation called: “The Blind Side.”

However, this particular day, I happened to see two more families at the shopping center; each family had a White mother and a White father, a few White children, and one or two Black children.

This lead me to think, (in the bizarre way that I view the world)…

I do not believe that I have EVER seen a Black man and a Black woman with a White child..??

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Now, I am not talking about an interracial couple, where Black and a White people pair up and have babies. No, I am talking about a pure Black man and Black woman adopting a White child. I do not believe that I have ever seen that. (I am sure that it has happened, but I have never witnessed it.)

So, to test this theory out, I went through sections of Cleveland and Pittsburgh, and guess what…

I did not see a Black family with any White children.

Enter into my story, The New Black Panther “foot soldier”- King Samir Shabazz.

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King Samir doesn’t seem to like White people. (Or little White cracker babies.)

King Samir, of The New Black Panther Party, (I think I liked the “Old Black Panther party” better), King Samir said that Black people have to stop begging White people for freedom. King Samir said that you may have to: “Kill some crackers, and kill their babies too.”

Who would want to kill little cracker babies..??

When I first heard King Samir, I had to laugh. “Who the hell dresses like that today and uses the word: Cracker..??”

I mean really, it is like this guy was asleep (or on crack) for the past 40 years, woke up in the same clothes, and started talking about killing cracker babies.

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(Kind of like that Austin Powers movie where comedian Mike Myers awakes from a 40 year sleep, to walk around a modern world saying things like: “Groovy baby, do I make you horney?”) The only difference here is that King Samir isn’t looking to “shag” some chick, he wants to kill little cracker babies.

So, I got to thinking, (as I usually do) that I have never seen a Black family with little White cracker babies. And King Samir wants to KILL cracker babies…

Is it possible that people like King Samir do not know how to CARE for a little White cracker baby..??

Could that be the reason..??

Well, we can easily solve that, with…

The Angry Republic’s guide to the proper care and feeding of a White Cracker Baby

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(One) White cracker babies do NOT, from birth, know how to dance.

You cannot just throw a White cracker baby into the funk. (They may break a hip.) Do not start this little cracker on Jay-Z or 50 Cent, do it slowly with some Lady Gaga, or Britney. (NOTE- you can feed the cracker baby Lady Gaga’s music through headphones, so none of your neighbors think that YOU listen to the GAGA.)

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(Two) Cracker babies are not “street smart”.

Cracker babies are more apt to have lunch money taken from them. Cracker babies will not be able to eat, they will get skinny like Lindsay Lohan, and die. Try hiding the lunch money on the cracker baby, then tell the cracker where the money is, later on.

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(Three) food

Cracker babies eat about the same things as any other baby would. However, cracker babies can gravitate towards expensive food items like- veal. Just smack that little cracker on the head and say: “Get away from there, fool.”

(Four) Whiteness

Because of their- Whiteness; cracker babies can over-compensate for that “Whiteness” by trying to talk VERY Black. (Example- Eminem).

If your little cracker baby starts talking excessively “Black”, just slap that little cracker in the head and say: “Shut up, fool.”

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The benefits of having a cracker baby.

Beyond the obvious fun of watching a little White cracker baby trying to dance, pick up women, or survive in the neighborhood without getting his ass beat up every single day; having a White cracker baby can be beneficial.

College- Getting that little cracker into college should be a breeze- that cracker can take advantage of special minority programs, or the United Negro College…

Oh, wait, that cracker is White. OK, forget about college.

Maybe that cracker will excel in sports. (Or maybe not.)

OK, maybe there is no special benefit in having a cracker baby. However, why would a Black man want to kill cracker babies?

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I know that I have said this a dozen times but, I really thought that the election of Barack Obama would put all of this racism behind us.

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President Obama could bring this country together, if he wanted to, with several good speeches and some positive action.

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I wonder why he hasn’t done it..??

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic

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