Feel suicidal; quick, hurry: read this

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While checking out the CNN web site, I found out that there are people out there who feel suicidal. They have been hit with a bad case of the “blues,” and they want to end it all.

I have placed my web site on HIGH alert, to find a solution to this plight. I want you to set that knife down, and put that gun away. Go to the sink and pour out that gallon jug of drain cleaner. I have a solution to your depression.

Folks, I once wanted to “End it all.”

But, let me “help you” with the same words that “helped me.”

A very wise old man once told me…

We interrupt this editorial for some BREAKING News

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BREAKING NEWS

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We have breaking news in the race between Democratic Senate candidate Martha Coakley and Republican candidate Scott Brown.

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Scott Brown has moved up 5 points ahead of Coakley and democrats are wondering if President Obama should even head to Massachusetts to campaign for Coakley.

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Many pundits point to a bad campaign run by Coakley; having hit a rocky start when Democrat- Coakley’s campaign misspelled the word: “Massachusetts” on campaign posters.

“How in touch can she be if she cannot even spell the name of the state that she is running in.”

Here, with a different point of view, is the creator and writer of The Angry Republic web site: AR Babonie

“..Get outta my face.

Sure, it is easy for you people from Ohio, or New York, or Texas to make fun of Coakley. Yea, you high and mighty people can make fun of a person who cannot spell their state name.

Oh..Gee: spell Ohio, duhh, OK- “O.H.I.O.” Yea, a real ball buster for you. But try and live in a state with silent or hidden vowels; try living in a state which has double letters (for no freaking reason.) Like Pennsylvania, or Massachuthss, aaahhh- Massachut…

Forget it, get outta my face..”

That was creator and writer AR Babonie from The Angry Republic web site.

To recap this breaking news story…

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Republican Scott Brown has moved 5 points ahead of Democrat Coakley in the race for Ted Kennedy’s senate seat.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled editorial

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We now rejoin our editorial on “Suicidal People”, already in progress:

Here is what you need to do:

Because, I know, when you hit rock bottom, you have to “look up.”

Keep repeating this mantra:

“..I am GOOD..!!”

“..People LOVE me..!!”

(Remember, you MUST repeat this mantra until YOU believe it.)

“..I am GOOD. People LOVE me. There is no reason to drink this gallon jug of drain cleaner..!!”

(I only had to repeat those lines 12,987 times and I felt MUCH better.)

Now, for you people who saw the movie more than 2 times, you need to do this one important…

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BREAKING NEWS

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We interrupt this editorial on “suicidal people” to bring you this “Breaking News” update

It now appears that President Obama WILL head to Massachusetts on Sunday, to campaign for the Democrat Senate hopeful Martha Coakley, who is trailing the Republican Senate candidate Scott Brown by 5 points in the polls.

The Obama Administration had questions as to if it would be wise to campaign for Coakley, with the problems that Obama is having with his health care bill, should the president campaign for a candidate who might LOSE this election Tuesday?

A candidate (Democrat Coakley) who cannot spell the name of the state that she is running in..??

Here for a different view on this, is conservative writer: AR Babonie.

“..You people are pissing into the wind.

Just because she cannot spell Massachutiss, aahhaa, Massichutt. That state has too many freaking letters in it’s name. How the hell is anyone going to spell that name.

Take Ohio; it has 4 letters in it’s spelling and one letter is used twice.

You try being a 6 year old kid and each kid gets a state name that they have to spell out in front of the class. All the kids around you get Maine, or Kansas, or freaking Ohio. But you… You get dealt Massachuttes, aahhaa, Massachitt. ‘It will freaking traumatize you for life.’

So what, the Democrat Coakley cannot spell the name of the state that she is running in, so what..??

It isn’t like she will ever have to spell, or write, or think again; once she is elected to the senate. Once she is elected, all she will have to do is vote the way that Harry Reid and Chuck E. Schumer votes. She doesn’t even need to give a rat’s ass about what the people of Massachutes, aahhaa, massachutts; what those freaking people want.

Get outta my face..”

That was conservative writer: AR Babonie, who seems to be defending the democrat Senate candidate Coakley.

(Or, at least, AR is defending the right of all Americans to never learn how to spell: Massachusetts.)

We now return you to our regularly scheduled editorial: “Suicidal People”, already in progress.

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OK, Kelly, you are going to want to put down the gallon jug of drain cleaner and listen to me…

It was only a movie.

There is no “real place” called: “Pandora.”

Ok, Kelly, “Avatar” was a cartoon movie. Put down the gallon jug a drain cleaner and listen to me.

Folks, on the phone here at The Angry Republic studio; we have a caller name Kelly who has seen the movie “Avatar” 16 times. She feels depressed and suicidal because she wants to live in the cartoon world. She hates her life and she hates Earth.

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Now, Kelly. I have not watched the movie: “Avatar,” however, I carefully read the CNN story about the depression and suicidal thoughts that you folks are going through. I can relate.

Kelly, let me tell you a story…

I once saw a cartoon movie and it affected me deeply.

It was called “Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.”

I too, wanted to live in that “cartoon world.” The hills were so colorful. And the sky was jet blue with puffy white clouds. That cartoon world would be perfect for us to live in.

And after watching Daffy Duck, my life and the Earth looked: sad and gray.

Let me describe the inhabitants of this lovely cartoon world to you, by using democrat Harry Reid’s terminology:

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Daffy Duck was a “dark- skinned” duck with no Negro dialect. Daffy had some type of strange dialect, but it wouldn’t be called a “Negro dialect.”

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Bugs Bunny, (using Democrat Harry Reid’s description) was a “light- skinned” rabbit, with no Negro dialect, unless Bugs wanted to use a “Negro dialect.”

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Oh Kelly, I wanted to live in that cartoon world. You could smack someone in the face with a frying pan, then laugh about it. You could push your friend off of a cliff and watch him slam onto the ground below. “POOF.”

But Kelly, Bugs Bunny- just like the movie “Avatar”, are cartoon worlds that do not exist. We HAVE to come back to reality. People NEED us here in the “real world.”

Folks, I am leaving this web site open all weekend to help people, like Kelly; cope with the depression from watching the movie; Avatar. (Or Bugs Bunny.)

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If you have ever watched a cartoon movie like “The Hillbilly Bears” or “The Flintstones” or “Avatar”, and you feel depressed and suicidal, please comment below and we will work beyond this depression.

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic

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Folks, here are some comments from “depressed” people who saw the movie: “Avatar.” (These are real, I am NOT making these up.)

Comment by Hill:

“..When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world…”

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Comment by: Mike

“..Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and (that) everything is the same as in ‘Avatar…”

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Comment by Elequin:

“..That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen..”

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