Santa goes GREEN, by turning blue

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Each year, Hollywood lowers itself and treats us “Christmas type” people with a holiday movie.

As with every Hollywood movie, there MUST be an important moral message tucked inside the story line that will slap us humans in the face, and remind us that we have been fat- slobs.

Some years, we “Christmas type” people are treated to a movie that shows if a person wants to skip Christmas, the “zombie like” religious neighbors will haunt these “Christmas skippers” until they cave in and celebrate Christmas the right way. (Christmas with the Kranks- Jamie Lee Curtis and Tim Allen)

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Or sometimes Hollywood teaches us that people can get so hung up on Christmas gifts and holiday lights that they make their life a living hell. (Deck the Halls, Christmas Vacation, Jingle all the Way)

But in the end, Hollywood always teaches us the TRUE meaning of Christmas:

“The birth of Jesus..??”

(Are you freaking crazy..?? What the hell are you smoking..??)

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No, the TRUE meaning of Christmas, Hollywood style, is…

Place Tim Allen in a “fat suit”, stick a beard on his face, call it “Santa Clause part 5″, and make 100 million dollars at the box office.

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OR…

You could re-due the movie: “A Christmas Carol.” You could stick Jim Carey into a cartoon and promise that this version will be totally different than the other 100 times this story has been told.

But the top movie this year is turning everyone GREEN, by turning us all blue.

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Yes, we are talking about: “Avatar”, or as it is being called by some: “Dances with Smurfs.” (A cross between Kevin Costners’ “Dances with Wolves”, and those blue cartoon people called: “Smurfs.”)

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I’m sorry folks, but I just cannot get excited by a “cartoon.” Yes, I understand that it is in 3-D. And I understand that they spent 300 million to make this cartoon.

But it is still just a cartoon.

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It’s not that I am old-fashion. I really enjoyed the newest “Star Trek” movie. But Star Trek used REAL humans for it’s main actors, they hired dozens of electricians and carpenters to modify sets, and create new visual images. Yes, Star Trek did use CGI computers for some scenes, however, they tried hard to keep it real.

I guess the time I spent living in LA taught me about the thousands of people who work behind the scenes in the movie business. The tons of people it took to build the sets, paint the background, wire up the explosions, etc.

I remember all of the actors who spent months physically training to not only “act the part”, but to “look” the part.

All of this gone, because the action takes place in a cartoon world.

The movie: “Beowulf” was the spoiler for me.

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Beowulf took actress Angelina Jolie and turned her into a cartoon woman so that they could “physically enhance” her body.

Hollywood tried to “physically enhance” Angelina’s body..??

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GOD ALREADY “PHYSICALLY ENHANCED” ANGELINA JOLIE..!!

There isn’t anything that you guys could have done with your cartoon computer, to improve Angelina.

However, the REAL insult with “Beowulf” was the hero.

Beowulf was this huge, physically fit, “Viking” type guy. (At least that is what you see in the movie.) The actor playing Beowulf is actually a pudgy, balding, dumpy looking guy. The type of guy that women would toss a beer on him after he made some perverted joke.

Hence, the future of Hollywood.

Actors no longer have to “look the part.” They only need to “sound good.” The CGI cartoon computers will fix the rest.)

Hollywood claims that “Avatar” is a BIG step forward in movie making.

I say it is a BIG step backwards. With Avatar, Hollywood has taken a step back to the old “radio days”, when you could only hear the actors, you never saw the actors.

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Let us NOT forget the special moral message for us humans, in the movie: Avatar- “Dances with Smurfs.”

WARNING- Spoiler alert

Avatar: The Moral Message

Humans are stupid, filthy, terrible people. They kill, or destroy everything that they come into contact with. The earth would be so much better if humans were gone. I hate those stupid humans. I wish I were a blue Smurf- like person with a tail and I lived in a tree.

THE END

In a comment on a post about the movie Avatar, a fan of the movie wrote this:

“..Destroying less technologically capable cultures has been done many times in the past and it’s contemptible. That’s what this movie is about: soulless avarice. Think about that the next time you drive by an Indian reservation..”

Well, I drive by a “Native Reservation” all the time. The “Seneca Nation of Native Americans” in NY State.

The Natives are very nice to me, there.

They have these HUGE buildings called: Casinos. The Natives are always asking me to come on in, because: “The winning is only the beginning.” They feature GREAT Native American bands like “ZZ Top” who play traditional Native songs like: “Give me all your loving” and “Cheep Sunglasses.”

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Truth be told, Natives on the Reservation have a choice on how they want to live. They could pitch a tent and live in the forest. There are plenty of deer, bear, and fish to hunt and eat. A person could live out their life in the Allegheny Forest.

But you will not see many tents set up in Seneca. Because modern Natives CHOOSE to live- modern. Why..??

I happen to live in the heart of the Amish community in Pennsylvania. The Amish have shunned modern technologies and they live the way people lived in the 1800’s. (Right..??)

Do you know what the popular toys for Amish kids are..??

In-line roller skates and skate boards. Amish boys are very good at skateboarding.

I will never forget the first time I saw an Amish guy with a cell phone, brief case, and calculator. I thought: “What the heck..?? Don’t Amish people shun stuff like this..??

This Amish man builds houses for a living and the Amish community Elders allow him to use the cell phone because he employees most of the men in his community. (However, he is not allowed to drive a car. He must pay someone to drive him.)

I laugh as I drive by an Amish community and see an Amish woman using a gas powered weed wacker to trim the lawn. (Hey, it’s a hell of a lot easier then using a sickle and trimming by hand.)

Stop into any Wal- Mart in Amish country and you will see the Amish children standing in front of the HUGE flat- screen TV’s. Their eyes fixated on the images displayed.

Images like this:

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The Hollywood Liberal would be disgusted by what I just said. I could picture the Hollywood liberal saying:

“..The Amish live a pure life without all those carbon creating devices. And look at those EVIL TV sets corrupting the young Amish children..”

Yet, the Hollywood Liberal makes a living from those “evil TV sets,” and movies like Avatar.

I do not see it the way that the Hollywood Liberal sees it. I see human nature being played out.

When I see an Amish woman, with a huge smile on her face; and in her shopping cart is a sewing machine, I realize that her life has just become MUCH easier. The community Elders must have allowed her to get electricity and a sewing machine. No longer will she have to make hundreds of shirts by hand with needle and thread.

Human nature is curiosity. The ability to find better ways to make life easier. To do anything otherwise, is to shun human nature.

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Movies like Avatar, by design, are built to fill young children with guilt. Humans are such evil creatures. If only we could be like those blue Smurf creatures. We could sit around and tell stories all day. We could eat and sleep. And when we are board, we could use a USB computer cable and plug ourselves into our pet and become “as one” with our pets.

Well, I have a cat. I am not sure that I want to use a computer cable to plug myself into my cat. There is a very good chance that his little head is empty and he is not thinking of anything. Or, he might be thinking: “Get off the couch and feed me, then go away and leave me alone. You are the reason I cannot have sex anymore, you beast. Getting me fixed. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING..??”

Plugging into our pets might not be a good idea.

So Avatar “The Movie” is there to fill us full of guilt, this Holiday Season.

There is not a White child alive today, who forced a Native person off of his land.

But yet, we MUST fill children’s heads with guilt because White people did, long ago.

There is not a Native child alive today who was forced off of his land by White people. But yet, we MUST fill this Native child’s head with anger because long ago, someone did force his people off of their land. “What purpose does this anger serve..??

There is not a White child alive today who ever kept a Black man as a slave. And yet, we MUST fill this child’s head with guilt, because it happened long ago.

There is not a Black child alive today who was held as a slave. Yet, we MUST fill this Black child’s head with anger because White people did this, long ago. How will this anger help this child..??

There is not a child alive today who built that smokey factory that sits up on the hill. Yet, we MUST fill that child’s head with guilt because this child is “killing the earth.”

We MUST fill our children’s heads with GUILT and ANGER.

Why..??

Children cannot even go to a movie without being “preached to”, and filled with guilt.

This Christmas, I would like to apologize to all of the young people out there. I am very sorry that my generation is so screwed in the head..!!

It’s no wonder that young people walk around with i-pod headphones on listening to their music, and they stay connected with each other by phone, with text messages. THEY ARE TRYING TO TUNE OUT all the idiots from my generation. All the guilt and anger that my generation wants to pile on them.

It’s no wonder that young people rush home to play video games.

If I had to listen to the assholes from my generation preaching guilt and anger, I would try and escape into a “video game world” too.

Kids, I’m not sure what happened to my generation..??

We were Hippies who preached FREEDOM, love, and peace.

Today, my generation preaches guilt.

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Guilt, because you children are destroying the earth. Guilt, because long ago, people were “mean” to each other.

Guilt that when you turn 16 and want to drive a car, you will be killing a polar bear, just by driving that car.

This Christmas, I want to make a promise to young people out there…

There are millions of folks who believe like I do.

I promise, for as long as I am able, I; and millions like me, will try and rid the world of the “guilt police.”

You deserve to have what we had when we grew up. A chance to live and love life without all this freaking guilt and anger that my generation wants to fill your head with.

So, hang in there my young friends. Download a few more songs to get by and it will not be long.

Soon, we will rid the earth of the “guilt police” and we can get back to loving life. We can get back to feeling good about being human.

Which is what Christmas is all about, in my opinion.

A new start.

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