Chasing Orgasms

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OK, the title of this post might be a bit deceptive.

Most of my editorial has little to do with orgasms. I noticed that posts which have an erotic title seem to get a lot of hits, (and you MUST have a lot of “hits”) so there you have it.

Today, we have a BIG topic to go over and I am excited to talk about it. But first I must mention that we have had to accept advertising here at The Angry Republic. The goofy pictures that we do and writing up all of this “stuff” COSTS money. So, to offset these costs we will be placing commercials on this site. But I promise, you will hardly notice them.

OK, our topic today is “hypocrisy.”

Hypo Crisy- is a Latin term, meaning: “Hypo” (or Hippo) a large African animal; and “Crisy”- the dingy blond on the TV show “Three’s Company.”

In modern times, we have dropped the Latin version of the word: Hypocrisy; and it simply means someone who THINKS that they are a “Mac Daddy”, but in reality they cannot even afford a Big Mac.

Remember when liberals claimed that President Bush “cherry picked” intelligence reports on Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction, so that Bush could take us to war in Iraq.

Liberals claimed that there was evidence “out there” that showed that Saddam had no WMD’s. But, Bush ignored this “evidence” and rushed us to war. (Remember liberals saying that stuff..??)

Well, today; we have PROOF that some of the climate scientists “tricked numbers” to make it look like the earth is getting warmer DUE TO man’s activities.

They “faked” temperature readings..!!

At the same time, you have “other” climate scientists who are telling us to disregard “those” scientists who faked the numbers. Man is making the earth warm up, and they are telling us to “hurry up and pass” massive global warming laws. (Before it is too late.)

How can one be right and the other is wrong..??

How can it be wrong for Bush to pick the information that he likes, to take us to war.

But it is justified and right for scientists to pick the information that they like to rush us into laws that will hurt the poorest people. Raising electricity bills. High transportation costs…

It is hypocrisy for the Left to claim that we should have investigated the WMD situation better BEFORE we went to war, but yet the Left doesn’t want to investigate man made global warming further EVEN THOUGH we have proof that some scientists faked data.

I want to get more into this because these new laws will effect everyone, but first; we have one of those commercials that I mentioned earlier.

It will only take a second, and we will be right back with this topic.

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HI, I’m Walter Dickman; president of the American Civil Liberties Union, (the ACLU).

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Recently, because of bad economic times, the ACLU has lost 19 million dollars in donations. (At least, we think it was because of the “bad” economy, what else could it be..??)

This lost of donations will have a devastating effect on your liberal civilities(??). Without this 19 million dollars, how will we ever sue small towns for having a plastic Jesus in their city park..??

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The loss of this 19 million dollars could mean that the ACLU can no longer shut down a small business because they forgot to fill out the federal form: “AL-1645-98759″ before they fired a worker for stealing. (I mean, come on..?? Stealing is stealing. You are always going to have employees that steal from you. But forgetting to file the federal form: “AL-1645-98759″, THAT IS A CRIME.)

But I digress, here at the ACLU, we need your help..!! This is usually our busy season with “The Holidays” approaching. Normally, we would have 6 law suits going against LARGE department stores because they forced their employees to say: “Merry Christm…” (Auugh.. I can’t say that phrase. It’s too horrid.)

Please, won’t you help?

Send all the money you can to the ACLU. Do it today, so we can get back to the business, of putting Americans out of business.

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As I told you before, these new commercials that we are running on The Angry Republic will not be a nuisance.

You will hardly notice them.

Where were we before the commercial..??

Oh..yea.. School Lunches

On Wednesday, the newspaper- USA Today did an investigative report that concludes that school lunches are worse than fast food.

As far as bacteria safety and nutritional value, the food that the government serves our children is worse then what they would get at Jack in the Box, or KFC.

Welcome to the future of government run health care.

How long has the government run the school system..?? And we find out today that the government is serving our children meat and chicken that would be rejected by Burger King..??

And the government has to audacity to tell us that the “high quality” of health care will still be there, when they manage it.

Hell, the government has been serving our children low quality food for years. How could we EVER trust anything that they say after finding this out.

And why would we ever give the government MORE power..??

I want to really explore this topic because it pisses me off, but first; we have another one of those commercials.

I promise, we will return to this topic after the break.

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Hi, we are concerned members of Hollywood, and we have an important message for you.

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Each year, millions of Honey Bees and Mud Ducks are dying. They are dying because they cannot find their way home.

Your cell phone is causing the Honey Bees and the Mud Ducks to be confused. They become disoriented and lost. AND THEY DIE.

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You can help by turning OFF your cell phone and never using your cell phone unless you are being raped or murdered.

We call this campaign: “Just turn it off, stupid. Become unconnected.”

In the future, you might see a few of us “Hollywood types” still using our cell phones, but we have to because we are important. We have to stay connected to the Hollywood studios about important movies and books that we have written. But you, you have nothing that is important to talk about. You would just use your cell phone to blab to some goofy friend: “Blah, blah, blah.”

SO TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE.

Save the Mud Ducks.

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And you might just get a cell phone call from one of us BIG celebrities, thanking you.

(Except, you will never know because you will have your cell phone turned off.)

Now you must excuse us, we must fire- up the carbon spewing “private jets” and fly to Copenhagen for the global warming “after- party” event. Thousands of us have burned tons of jet fuel to get to Copenhagen this year. We are here to force you “little people” to use less energy.

Global Warming is very important, besides; this year they have free prostitutes for us delegates.

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Maybe I was wrong about these commercials “not interfering” in the pace of my site..??

“Free hookers for global warming people..??”

Tea Bag Parties never needed “free hookers”..?? What’s up with that..??

OK, before the commercial break, we were talking about global warming hookers.

I think it is wrong for any global warming hooker to force her (or his) “life choices” on the rest of us.

In a free country, you should be able to choose how much you conserve energy, or if you want to give your body to strangers for free.

Global warming hookers really tick me off, and I want to get more into that subject. But first, we have another quick commercial, and we will wrap up this editorial on “global warming hookers”.

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Read the NEW book: “Barack Obama- The GREATEST president EVER”

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YOU MUST BUY THIS BOOK..!!

NBC News said: “This book is.. ..I pissed my pants.”

MSNBC said: “After reading this book, there are things crawling up my leg.”

You MUST read the NEW book: “Barack Obama- The GREATEST president EVER”

In bookstores, everywhere.

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We are back, to wrap up this editorial.

In conclusion, it is like I said earlier in this post…

Say goodbye to Tiger Woods..!!

Say hello to Natalie Gulbis..!!

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I have always felt that women in sports should get more national attention..!!

THAT is the whole point of this editorial…

If Tiger Woods had spent MORE time with his family, and less time “chasing orgasms”, he would have…

“Chasing Orgasms”

Hey, that would be a great title for an editorial..!!

I will have to write one with that title, someday.

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Coming soon to

The Angry Republic

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