President Obama brings the Nobel home, to America

We Americans have been waiting a long time to see “one of ours” bring home the Nobel Prize.

Many of us were beginning to wonder who’s ass we would have to kick, and who’s face we would have to shove in the mud, to win that Nobel Peace Prize..??

But President Obama has solved that problem..!!

The rest of the world can go screw themselves, we got the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now, President Obama’s name will be remembered forever, along with many other Nobel winners from the past.

Of course, we all remember studying the Nobel GREATS when we were children. Many of us children used to sing songs about American Nobel Prize winners.

Children’s songs like this:

“…Lucas, Shull, Carter, and Paul.

Who is the greatest of them all?..”

“…Schwartz, Solow, Wiesel, and Val Fitch.

Which Nobel winner stopped our itch..?..”

(Those were GREAT children’s songs, weren’t they..!!)

President Obama name has been added to that GREAT list of American Nobel Prize winner’s names, never forgotten in time.

Who could forget Fritz Lipmann..??

(Just the mention of his name gives us goose bumps..!!)

Fritz spent his whole life studying: “Co-enzyme A.”

Fritz would jump out of bed every morning and joyfully begin work on Co-enzyme A. Every night, Co-enzyme A was on Fritz’s mind.

Fritz Lipmann LIVED- “Co-enzyme A.”

Then one day, Fritz realized that Co-enzyme A effected intermediary metabolism.


Fritz Lipmann brought the Nobel Prize home to America. And I couldn’t have been prouder..!!

You cannot talk about GREAT Nobel Prize winners from the past, without mentioning “Linus Pauling.”

(I feel kind of foolish going into detail about Linus Pauling, since everyone reading this already KNOWS all about Linus Pauling. What’s left to tell..??)

However, there may be some “young ones” out there who have yet to study the GREAT Nobel winners from the past.

In 1962, Linus Pauling worked with Russian, American, and British leaders to negotiate the “Nuclear Test Ban Treaty.”

(I’m breaking out in a cold sweat just talking about this.)

Linus Pauling effectively ended the “cold war” in 1962, and never again did America, Russia, and Great Britain have cross words.

Linus Pauling was the ONLY American Nobel Prize winner that year, (1962) and we treated him like a King. We had a big ticker tape parade in Times Square, he was featured on cereal boxes, and little kids dressed up like Linus Pauling on Halloween. (Some people still do today.)

President Obama has now joined this great list..!!

I get offended when people say that Barack Obama has done nothing to deserve this Nobel Peace Prize.

Why, just this week, President Obama showed his pension for peace.

President Obama, this week, bombed the crap out of the moon, instead of bombing Iran.

Look at it this way; say you are really mad at someone, BUT: instead of punching that person in the face, you punch a hole in the wall. (Not hurting anyone.)

That is what Obama did..!!

See, Iran pissed Obama off (by having that secret underground nuclear site.) Instead of bombing Iran, President Obama bombed the HELL out of the moon.

That is the quintessential pinnacle of Peace. (Bombing the moon, instead of Iran.)

Do you need MORE proof that President Obama deserves this Nobel Peace Prize..??

President Obama could have pushed his National Health Plan, he could have closed Gitmo, ended the Iraq War, ended the Afghanistan War, made Gay marriage legal, and ended capitalism.

But he didn’t do any of that stuff.

(Because it would have pissed someone off.)

If you do NOTHING, then you cannot be blamed for anything.

If you make a decision, that decision could hurt someone. If you take one step forward, your foot could kill a harmless bug. If you work TOO HARD, you will breathe out more carbon, and KILL THE EARTH.

However, if you sit real still, in one place and do not breathe much or make any decisions, you are saving the earth and all of the bugs and people on this earth.

President Obama deserves this Nobel Peace Prize BECAUSE he has done nothing.

And “nothing” is better than “anything.”

Because “anything” could hurt a bug, or a tree, or a person living in Upper Ukaghanistan.

President Obama has done nothing.

Which means he has hurt no one. (Except, maybe, the democratic party which wanted him to do certain things.)

For this, President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.

(Hey, I feel peaceful..!!)

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic