Women live longer than men because they DO NOT pass gas.

There was a study from Chicago that reports the “pig flu” (Swine Flu- H1N1) will hit like a “Som Bitch” (rural slang for “a really bad thing”) this fall and early winter.

LINK: Famous “pig flu” study

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hslso6JfF2MTz2dGO45XqPX_Y34gD9ABB5BG2

The study reported that the “pig flu”, (the aforementioned “swine flu” H1N1) will effect Hispanics and Black people most of all.

Another study added that old people, (of all races and genders) should be worried about “pig flu.”

Also, children (again, of all races and the many genders: IE: male- female- transgender- transsexual- trans axil, etc) should be concerned about the “pig flu.”

Children, Black people, Hispanic people, old people, and poor people need to be concerned about the pig flu. (Because the “pig flu” has your number and is coming for you.)

The only group of people who seem to have it easy this fall, free from the terror of the “pig flu”, are those idiots we call: The Middle Class (and Rich) White people.

Not only do Middle Class (and Rich) White people have a good portion of America’s wealth, (and quite a few of America’s pretty women) this study now proves that the Middle Class (and Rich) White men can french kiss trashy women, put on a pair of “pig boots” and roll around in a pig stall, and use the restroom WITHOUT washing their hands; never once giving any concern about the “pig flu.”

This is terribly unfair..!!

Why should White people be free to breath the air that someone just coughed in, or run a round the house with a sharp pair of scissors in their hands, without a care about receiving the “pig flu”..??

Someone needs to step up and be heard..!!

Someone needs to equal this playing field..!!

There is no reason why the White people should have it so easy this fall.

(In fairness and FULL disclosure; the writer of this editorial, (me) happens to be one of those “White peoples.”)

But even my “whiteness” (or lack of “darkness”) cannot blind my ability to see how unfair this “pig flu” has become.

If only America had some type of government medical system, we could rectify this dilemma.

With the horrible medical system that America has today: “Medicine for Profit”; where a doctor fixes you up and then the doctor gets a paycheck, (similar to the American system called “Chicken dinner for a Profit” or: “A guy builds you a house and you pay him MONEY and he makes a Profit” system) with the “Medicine for Profit” system, White people are able to pay a doctor and stay healthy.

This is NOT fair..!!

But with the current American system, “Medicine for Profit”, we have no way of preventing White people from paying doctors and getting themselves fixed up.

With a government controlled health care system, we could make “pig flu” more “fair” to all people.

Now, no one is suggesting that we “infect” White people with the “pig flu” virus to equal things out. (IE: if two Black people get the “pig flu”, we infect two White people.) That probably wouldn’t be right. (Plus it would cost a lot of money.)

But, what if we FORCED White people to visit sick Black people, while they are infected and coughing..?? If four White people are locked in a room with one sick Black person, odds are that at least one White person will get the “pig flu.”

This will “equalfiy” the “pig flu” and make this virus “more fair” to everyone.

There is no doubt that a government health care system would be a valuable tool to fix many of our “social ills.”

Why do women live longer than men..??

We used to think that women outlived men because men had stressful / physical jobs and women stayed home. But today, women are out working, right along side men. (Plus, there is nothing that is “calming” about staying home and raising children.)

Some believed that women lived longer than men because men ate dangerous food, smoked and drank more booze than women do. But anyone who has visited Bubba’s Roadside Bar and watched Bertha suck down a plate of greasy ribs and pitcher of beer, while she had two cigarettes burning in an ashtray, knows this isn’t true.

I believe that women live longer than men because women do not pass gas in public.

What else could it be..??

With our current system: “Medicine for Profit”; there is no way to make women kick the bucket at the same age as men do. Women have money and they can run to the doctor, pay the price, and get themselves fixed up.

However, with a “government controlled” medical system; we could make “life” a little more fair for everyone; Men and Women. (Note) at this point, we are not including you folks who are “transgender” or “transsexual” because you are currently somewhere in the middle. However, once you have chosen a “sex”, you will be given a “number” and placed into the system.

Forced Flatulence…

If my theory is correct. If women live longer than men because women do not pass gas in public, well- “Forced Flatulence” would solve this problem.

A government mandated “Forced Flatulence” program, (I probably do not need to go into detail on how this government program would run) could solve the problem of women living longer than men.

Plus, we could also force all men to take Beano.

A government controlled medical system would be MUCH better than that stupid “Medicine for Profit” system that we now have.

Just think about all the stuff that I could force you to do, for your own good..!!

Why, just look at what you are doing right now. You are spending hours looking at a computer screen. You know that looking at a computer screen is BAD for your eyes? I can stop you from spending all this time on the computer.

Matter of fact, with President Obama’s, and Sen. Jay Rockefeller’s bill: S.773; we will be able to shut the Internet down for just about ANY reason, and stop you people from getting that NASTY “free speech” information.

LINK: Obama can stop you from using free speech.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html

(It is, after all, for your own good; and the good of the American taxpayers who would have to buy you reading glasses when your eyes go bad, and “re-educate” you after receiving all that “free speech.”)

Those stupid Republicans who cry about fixing Medicare and Medicaid FIRST, and then adding a “catastrophic” policy for the uninsured; those dumb Republicans don’t understand that if we did than, I couldn’t dictate what you can eat or how you live.

If we did what the republicans claim, I wouldn’t have the government power to force you to exercise, eat broccoli and tofu, and leave all that “junk food” behind.

Republicans do not understand that Americans want to be told what to eat, what to read, where to live, and what profession to take as a job.

Republicans still believe that Americans want freedom. The freedom to succeed, and the freedom to fail.

But if we did that…

If we followed the republican model…

I would never have the government power to peek over the backyard fence and see how you are living.

“Do you have health insurance..?? NO..?? If you make over $40,000 per year, I will force you to BUY insurance. If you make less than $40,000 per year*, I will give it to you, free. Because I am government.”

“What kind of food are you eating..?? Are you crazy, that food is no good for you and it is costing the American taxpayers too much money to treat you. I will show you how to live- healthy. Because I am government.”

“What kinds of books are you reading..?? What sites are you visiting on the Internet..?? Are they making you happy, or sad..?? The books that you are reading are no good. They are making you restless. I will show you what to read. You will be happy. Because I am government.”

We must give the government MORE power..!!

How else will we ever have “Forced Flatulence” and how will we make “pig flu” more “fair” for everyone..??

Remember: The government is the only body in the world, whom is wise enough, experienced enough, and powerful enough, to force you to pass gas.

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic

(NOTE*) The $40,000 per year figure is mine. One of the scary things about the democrat’s current Health Care bills is that they DO NOT spell out each fact. They have left too many holes to be filled out later on.

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