Obama is going to help you out..!!
He is going to fix everything that is wrong in your life.
If your backside is hurting you, or you are not sure how to pay your bills, Obama is going to help you..!!
Except, if you are related to Obama. Then you are screwed
Obama’s poor aunt: Zeituni Onyango, is getting no help from her nephew- Barack Obama.
In a cold, non-personal fashion, Obama made the statement that the authorities should do what is necessary: (Ship her out of the US.)
The only thing this poor old woman did was donate $260 bucks to Obama’s campaign. (Oh, and she would like to be an American.)
You would think that a multi- millionaire like Obama could do something for his aunt? Maybe get her a little house in Canada until her US situation could be resolved..??
But I digress…
This shouldn’t concern you, because Obama said he was going to help you.
And, you are the most important thing.
Poor actress Jane Fonda is a “bundle of nerves.” She couldn’t sleep at all and is crying all last night. She said that her “back” is ailing.
I believe that Obama can help Jane Fonda’s backside..!!
“Fear of flying” author- Erica Jong is also having “backside” problems. Erica said this:
“My back is suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium.”
Erica has backside problems and went on to say:
“If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it’s not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets.”
“Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters (sic), to the Patriot Act.”
This sounds like scary stuff..!!
Two famous celebrities are having problems with their backsides.
But you need not worry about this. Obama will fix their backsides.
95% of you will get help from Obama. He will tax the hell out of your employer and take that money and give it to you. You can expect that money to arrive in your mailbox any day.
Except, of course, if you are Obama’s brother.
If you are Obama’s brother, you must live in a shack and survive on a dollar a month.
How will Obama’s brother spend his dollar this month? Maybe he could buy a potato..??
(I sort of remember Obama saying something like: “We are our brother’s keepers.”)
Maybe he wasn’t speaking about HIS brother?
But you need not worry about this, because Obama said he would help you. If your backside is hurting, Obama will fix it.
And you are the most important thing in the world..!!
We MUST make sure that you are OK.
Barack Obama’s brother will be fine. He has survived on a dollar a month for quite a while now, so what is a little longer?
This doesn’t concern you because you are not related to Obama. Barack doesn’t know you at all, and he is going to help you.
Obama will help you just the way that he helped all those people in Chicago. They are much better off today. Chicago has to be one of the TOP cities in America after Obama fixed everything.
(I wouldn’t check that, if I were you.)
But if you want to check out where Obama’s Chicago stands, click here-
Chicago doesn’t fall into the Top 150 American cities with job growth, wage, salary, and technology growth.
Hell, Pittsburgh does, New Orleans does, LA, Miami, Dallas, New York- all are in the Top 150. But Obama’s Chicago is no where to be found in the Top 150.
OK- so maybe Obama, with his community organization, did nothing for Chicago. But maybe he will fix your community?
Besides, you do not live in Chicago, so you shouldn’t worry. Obama is going to help you. (He said so..!!)
Barack Obama said that he will help America’s energy problem. He will find ways to get us off of foreign oil.
Obama has a plan…
Obama said he will bankrupt American coal producers by taxing them with a HUGE “greenhouse gas” penalty. So BIG that they will go bankrupt. Since 45% of American homes receive electricity by way of coal burning power plants, half of America will be left with no power. Or really, really expensive electric bills.
This will help us get off of foreign oil because…
(Well, I’m not really sure how it will help..??)
But you need not worry about that because you do not live in a state that uses coal for power. You do not have family members who work for the coal industry.
And most important, you are not related to Obama, and you do not live in Obama’s Chicago.
So in conclusion…
Obama is going to help you out.
He will fix everything that is wrong in your life. Because you are the most important thing in this world.
Provided, of course, that you are NOT related to Obama, (those poor bastards get nothing.) Also, you cannot live in a state that uses coal, you will be screwed. And if you own a business, you are in trouble. And you cannot live in any city that Obama tried to help in the past.
However, you should have nothing to worry about because Obama said he will help you.
Obama will fix everything in your life.
Obama said so..!!
Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republic
(PS)- I have not been blogging much in recent days because my state of Pennsylvania is so close to a McCain victory, I am personally trying to talk to as many undecided PA voters as I can. I think I have a few folks voting for McCain.
It’s not hard to do, here in PA. From Obama’s HUGE tax on coal, Obama and Murtha calling people in Pennsylvania “bitter”, rednecks, racists, and such- well, it isn’t hard to convince people that Obama doesn’t care about this state.
I truly believe my state of Pennsylvania will vote for McCain.
I have been reading your blogs and every conservative blogger is doing a GREAT job of doing what the media is not:
Showing that Barack Obama isn’t what he claims to be.
McCain will win this election..!!
All we have to do is vote..!!