If you were heading off to spend an evening at The Democratic Convention this fall, what should you bring with you..??

A shirt and shoes..??


(You will not be able to enter The Democratic Convention without a shirt and a pair of shoes- Sandals are ok.)

How about an umbrella..??


(The Democratic Convention is sure to be gloomy. Filled with talk about how “bad” America is.)

Or maybe you should bring a “Goo Gun”.


(“Goo Gun”- A high tech defensive weapon which shoots jets of sticky foam that immobilizes your fellow democrats. Once you have fired the “Goo Gun” at an angry- protesting liberal, the sticky foam glues their legs together and they fall to the ground. Your “peaceful” progressive protester is now firmly “glued to the ground” by the “Goo Gun” and cannot harm you or any other fellow democrats.)

18 MILLION dollars…

That is the amount of money being spent by Denver City officials on new police equipment to help control the “peaceful” liberal protesters during The Democratic Convention.

“Peaceful” progressive protesters tend to start riots and injure themselves or other fellow liberals.

The Denver police need special equipment to deal with the “compassionate, caring” democrats as they beat on each other during the Convention.

During a Denver City meeting, the topic of non-lethal weapons, such as “Goo Guns” and “Sonic Wave blasters” came up.

(“Sonic Wave Blasters”- sometimes referred to as the “Puke Gun”, because it emits a wave of sound that causes a liberal protester to double over, a feeling of being sick to your stomach happens, and some people vomit.)

Let me see if I understand this…


To deal with all the liberals heading to Denver for The Democratic Convention, the City is spending 18 million dollars on specialized equipment to shoot at the angry democrats?


Here at The Republican Convention, we are NOT contemplating “Goo Guns” and “Puke Guns”…

Republicans are trying to figure out which would be better- melon wedges, celery and ranch dressing, or cheese and crackers.

Some folks might think that a “riot” is exciting.


Who wants to go to a political convention and hear a bunch of politicians speaking?


The Democratic Convention is a time to bust beer bottles in the street while chanting “Yes, we can.”

It is a time for rubbing fake blood on your face while holding a sign that reads: “No blood for oil”, while chanting “Death to America.”

The Democratic Convention is the perfect time to spray paint the words: “Earth Killer” on the side of parked cars, and then setting these cars on fire.

Who wants to spend the day at The Republican Convention, with people listening to possible future leaders, and forming intelligent conclusions based on knowledge?

The Democratic Convention is much more fun..!!


Things getting busted up.

People being arrested.

And the costumes that the liberal protesters wear…

They have such imagination.

My personal favorite is the guy who wears the President Bush mask, an orange prison outfit, and a pair of handcuffs. That guy usually gets the liberal crowd going.

Hopefully, Barack Obama will have time to stop in and give a speech at The Democratic Convention?

Obama was too busy to visit the wounded troops in Iraq. (But he did call some of them on the phone..!!)

If Obama is too busy to attend The Democratic Convention, I am sure he will, at least, call..!!

A telephone call from Obama would be nice.

The Angry Republican’s- helpful tips for attending the political conventions.

(You may want to print out this list and keep it handy. You can start TODAY rounding up these useful tools for the convention.)

The Democratic Convention-

A backpack: filled with supplies for hiking. You do NOT want to park your car anywhere near the convention. Cars are a favorite target for rioting “peaceful” liberal protesters.

The Republican Convention-

A book, a handheld video game, “No Doze”, Jolt Cola, or any other chemical that helps you stay awake.

The Democratic Convention-

Some type of poster / sign. It is best if your poster makes no sense, like: “If Iraq is so important, why are fish dying in Alaska.” This poster causes angry liberals to STOP busting your head, and ponder what the hell your sign is saying. It has a “calming” effect on angry progressives.

The Republican Convention-

Photos of your family, your dog, your house, or any creature that you have shot with a gun. (Also bring a Bible.) This is what we conservatives do! We recite Bible verses while showing each other photos of animals we have killed.

The Democratic Convention-

Bring one jug of fake blood. If things get tricky and you find yourself surrounded by angry “peaceful” protesters, you can pour the fake blood on your head and begin chanting: “Bush killed more people than Hitler.” This is not true, of course, but it doesn’t matter. Angry liberals will smile, shake your hand, and leave you alone.

The Republican Convention-

A pair of dark sunglasses. If you find yourself falling asleep at the convention, please place the sunglasses over your eyes. (This way the TV cameras do not catch a bunch of people “sleeping” at The Republican Convention.) It is a “party” loyalty type thing..!!

We hope that this list will help you prepare for the up coming conventions. We have printed this list ahead of time so that you can begin collecting these various items.

So if you are looking for a convention where people exchange ideas, plan for the future, and show pictures of animals that they have killed with a gun; The Republican Convention is for you.

However, if you are looking for the excitement of watching skulls being bashed in. People wearing fake blood and being arrested for urinating on public property. If you enjoy watching your fellow democrats being shot by a “Puke Gun”; then The Democratic Convention is your ticket.

You never know…

Barack Obama just might telephone the convention and say hello. (If he has time.)

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republican.

Where did I get what I got, when what I got was given..??

Denver worries about using “Goo Guns”, “Puke Guns” and other police equipment to STOP angry “peaceful” liberal protesters at the friendly, but dangerous- Democratic Convention.

“Holy Puke, Batman…

The Democrats have Goo Guns..??”



Friendly, peaceful progressive protesters try and GRAB Karl Rove on the street. Find themselves being carted off to the slammer.

“The Hokey- Pokey”