Angry White Women

 

Have you ever had to deal with an “Angry White Women?”

Sometimes a box of candy, flowers, and a clever line, like: “I don’t think you look fat..” just isn’t enough.

What if you had several MILLION “Angry White Women” pissed off at you..??

 

Welcome to “Obama’s World..!!”

According to The Associated Press, Obama must now deal with millions of “Angry White Female” voters. (Have you noticed how hung up on race liberals are..?? When Hillary was in Pennsylvania, I saw all kinds of people attending her rallies.)

Oh, well…

We will except the AP’s premise and run with it.

I would much rather deal with 100 “depressed purple women”, then to deal with (1) one “Angry White Woman.”

Here at The Angry Republican, we have thought about how to help heal the Democratic Party, so we have come up with a list of ways Obama can start the healing process.

First, we needed to find out who these Angry White Female voters are, that the AP News was talking about..??

When we take a look at a graph, we can see that the Angry White Female voters break down into two groups:

It looks like Obama has already won over the “Piss-Drunk” Angry White Female vote. However, only 35 % of the Menstruating Angry Female Voters are favoring Obama.

Obama must act, and he must act now…

Ways Obama can “woo” the “Angry White Female Voter.”

 

Guaranty every “angry white female” a seat in the audience during a taping of The Oprah Winfrey show, where the woman could win a free car, or a slice of pizza. (Depending on Oprah’s mood.) A car is nice, but pizza tastes good..!!

Obama could pick an “Angry White Female” to be his vice president. This would sure up the angry female vote..!! (I can’t help Obama pick a female who is angry. I am in enough trouble with females as it is.)

Obama could hold a concert featuring Barbra Streisand. (Remember- “People.. People who need people. Are the luckiest people..”

Obama could talk about how bloated he feels. He could also ask voters if he “looks fat..??” (That would be “fat”, not “phat.”)

Obama could play music by The Dixie Chicks and Alanis Morissette during his speeches. Maybe he could have a big TV monitor on stage, Obama could play the LifeTime Network in the background. (Any one of the “men are evil and the female star KILLS the evil man” movies would do fine.) Sorry- going out to any woman who is watching a LifeTime movie right now, I just told you the ending of the movie you are watching.

The best thing Obama could do is learn NOT to make eye contact with an “Angry White Female.” Direct eye contact denotes a challenge of authority. Similar to an encounter with a bear or a mountain lion. You do not want to challenge the authority of a bear, mountain lion, or an “Angry White Female.”

You should keep your head lowered and slowly back away from the “Angry White Female.” In a soft voice, repeat this incantation- “you are right, you are right..”

I have faith that Obama can win over the “Angry White Female” vote. After all, he has lived with Michelle Obama for years, and he speaks about “hope and change.”

As you know, every Angry White Female “HOPES” that you- (the male) will “change.” (Change- whatever you are doing that is making them angry.)

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republican

If you pay more taxes,

You cannot afford to buy fuel…

Raising taxes to make the earth cooler- Failed in the US senate.

The Global Warming bill- Cap and Trade system; failed to get enough votes to proceed in the senate.

Long time senate members believe the topic of a “global warming” bill is dead in congress for the remaining Bush Presidency.

However, early in 2009 with a new president and congress, global warming might be one of the first projects they tackle. (Being that it is an easy thing to do. Just sign a “cap and trade” bill. A National Health care plan is much harder to put together. Congress will take the easy road with a global warming bill, so they can say they did something.)

My conservative and libertarian friends, we will have our work cut out for us in 2009. Not only will we be fighting liberals who want to “raise taxes to make the earth cooler”, we will also be fighting weak republicans in congress who also believe that “higher taxes will make the earth cooler.”

Higher taxes will NOT make the earth cooler.

 

Personal conservative might help.

 

But we do not need a police officer forcing you to conserve.

You are a grown up adult.

(To steal a line from Obama..)

I have “faith” and “hope” that you will “change”.

You do not need a law, or higher taxes for that, just a conscience.

Speaking of a conscience…

Let’s check out what some of Hollywood’s “jet setting”, limousine riding, tree hugging- types are doing today-

Susan Sarandon

– is threatening to leave America if a republican is elected president. (Alex Baldwin promised the same thing if Bush was elected, but Baldwin never left America. Why do people promise things and not follow through with it..??)

Sean Penn- Has become a fortune teller and is predicting the future:

Are you interested in reading The Associated Press story on:

“Angry White Women”..??

 

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 6:01 PM EDT
The Associated Press
By CHARLES BABINGTON Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) — Barack Obama has some urgent making up to do among a lot of angry white women…

Full story here:

http://www.armstrongmywire.com/news/read.php?id=16218054&ps=whiteHouse%2Ccongress%2Celections%2Cgovernment&lang=en

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