In view of the terrible, horrible story of the English schoolteacher who let her class name a teddy bear “Mohammed” in an African school, I thought I would do a post on the subject.

The teacher claims she didn’t know it was wrong. Radical Islamic people are chanting that this woman should die.

It seems the problem is that we in the west are unfamiliar with radical Islamic laws. (Or that radical Islam is living in the Stone Age.)

Here at The Angry Republican, we feel that we should try and help in some way.

What we have done is compiled a list of things that you cannot do while visiting a country that is ruled by radical Islam.

We have printed this list with easy to “cut and paste” text. You may want to print off a copy of this list and keep it handy for your next trip to a radical Islamic country.

Here is the list of things you shouldn’t do in a radical Islamic country. Followed by the (punishment).

Naming a puppy, kitty, frog, teddy bear, or a pencil holder- “Mohammed.” (punishment)- 15 days in prison, or 30 lashes, or death. (Whatever mood radical Islam is in at the time.)

Looking at a woman in a sexual way- (punishment)- Death.. (Not death for you- the man. Death to the woman that you looked at.)

Jay walking- (punishment) one stone thrown at the groin.

Jay walking with a Mohammed T-shirt on- (punishment) Death by toothpick. (Death by toothpick is not a good way to die. It is not that the toothpick hurts worse than a knife, but death by toothpick takes 50 years to kill you. It is a long process and you become bored with dying.)

Eating a pizza the wrong way. Starting with the crust first.- (punishment)- Death

Trying to sing a song when you do not know all the words, so you fill in the verses by humming. (punishment)- Death by hanging, death by osmosis, and death by Wayne Newton.

Killing an American. (punishment)- Ha Ha Ha. Pretty funny for a white boy. There is no punishment for killing an American.

Coughing, and the sound you made when you coughed sounded like you said “Mohammed.” (punishment)- 15 stones thrown at the groin.

While shopping at a radical Islamic Wal-Mart, you accidentally start humming- “Jingle Bells” or “Frosty the Snowman.” (punishment) Death by castration.

While playing a video game, you end the game early by letting your “character” die so you can start over. (punishment) Death by proctology.

(This list is important- I wasn’t aware that the last one was a crime in radical Islam.)

(For the women) Showing too much skin. Like a kneecap. (punishment) Rape, beating.

Pulling the wings off of a fly. (punishment) You must move out of your hut and let your goat live inside the hut- for 3 years.

Looking at a picture of Britney Spears. (punishment) Your goat must die.

Forgetting to pray 5 times each day. (punishment) Death by Hamster. Again, like “death by toothpick”, death by hamster isn’t that scary. The hamster is kind of furry and cute. However, “death by hamster” takes about 75 years and you just wish it were over.

(Similar to this comedy piece.)

One final thing you do NOT want to do in a radical Islamic country…

Wanting to live free. (punishment) Death

Insanity is never rational. Do not expect it to be.


(Yes, there is a disclaimer.)

I am using humor to point out how grotesque the idea is of wanting to kill someone because of the name of a teddy bear. By no means am I making fun of the English schoolteacher or her plight. I am, however, making fun of radical Islam. A religion that is being perverted by sadistic killers.

You claim that Christians are killers and that Jewish people are pigs. You claim that living a liberal lifestyle, like the West, is evil. But it is you, who wants to kill someone over a teddy bear.

Insanity is never rational. Do not expect it to be.

Written by AR Babonie for The Angry Republican